indie. / multi-ship.
khr. lal mirch.
#belniente, #bel-niente.

Mixed List of One-Liners

"Is it still illegal to perform an autopsy on a living person?"
"I don't like your clothes, take them off."
"The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list."
"Stop making me question my heterosexuality."
"He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise."
"Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014."
"I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
"If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining."
"I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?"
"You texted all our friends a picture of me with the caption 'I'm going to tap that'."
"I think it's about time you come out of the closet."
"You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning."
"Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me"
"Fair warning, I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week."
"I invited him in for 'coffee', and at an unexpected turn of events we actually had coffee."
"Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak."